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Trade “ought” for “want” when deciding what to do

Posted September 2, 2015

Trade “ought” for “want” when deciding what to do

Most of us live life governed by a sense of what we are “supposed” to do. If we were guided instead by what we want to do, think how different our lives would be.

By Kari Fulmek

There is no good or bad time to leave a marriage that is not working. You just have to do it.
Likewise there’s no best time to quit a job you hate or to start a business you’ve always dreamed about.

You just have to do it.

Whatever decision has to be made in life still comes down to balancing what you ought to do (based on how you judge yourself and how you believe others will judge you), and what you want to do (based on regaining power over your life and regaining the freedom to live life on your terms).

When you hit those roadblocks in life, if you live empowered there is only one call to make. That is to select “want to” over “supposed to.”

Deferred decisions to be self-empowered don’t do you or anyone else a favour. They just prolong the inevitable and waste precious days when you could be living your authentic life and doing work that matters to you and others.

There is a tremendous well of power and strength inside all of us, but sometimes we are afraid to tap it. Instead we just take small sips of life, but our real thirst for it is never fulfilled.

When you find the courage to move in the direction you want to, you suddenly understand how deep the well is and you find your way. I’m not saying it is easy, but you adapt and you live in the day you are in because to worry too much about tomorrow would overwhelm you.

When you start to drink from the well of your own strength and inner power, you begin to grow so much that you will never again fit back into the life you left.

That is what empowerment tastes and feels like. It is that process that takes you outside of the confines where you don’t fit anymore into a big world of endless possibilities.

You have to earn your way through life. You’ve got to do the hard stuff to get to the place that builds your true character and allows you to love every second of life, even when it’s not going good.

Don’t be afraid. You have the same resources within you that all the other people who lead full and purposeful lives possess.

You just have to unlock them and turn yourself free.

Kari Fulmek is the author of “Two Weeks to Empowerment: How to take charge of your life and find your true purpose” and the founder and owner of Equine Connection - The Academy of Equine Assisted Learning Inc. She is a Certified Master EAL Instructor and a Certified EAL Facilitator. From her base near Calgary, AB in the foothills of Canada’s Rocky Mountains, she travels the globe to empower clients. To learn more about Kari, visit her website at:

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