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Sometimes life’s picture needs a new frame

Posted November 25, 2015

Sometimes life’s picture needs a new frame

The art of reframing change is a fine skill to develop if you want to live the width of your life as well as its length.

By Kari Fulmek

Not all change that happens to us appears in a good way. Some of it shocks us, numbs us, and frightens us because it upsets our world so harshly, we cannot imagine that things will ever be right again.

All of the feelings of empowerment you had carefully cultivated seem swept away. You feel like a victim tossed helplessly in the tides of fate.

Things like forest fires and floods and stock market tumbles and cancer diagnoses stop us in our tracks and make us wonder if empowerment is just a myth.

No matter how bad the situation looks, the empowered person finds a way to reframe what they see and look at it from a different perspective.

Reframing your world and allowing yourself to look for a positive picture in the midst of a negative one opens you to growth on a high level. That is not to suggest we have to fake positivity when all we really want to do is cry.

It means that we have to accept that we have no control over some things, that challenges occur, and we have no choice but to begin the process of rebuilding.

We can also frame our life circumstances differently and change our perspective on whether a situation is positive or negative. For example, how many people say things like “I have to work two more years before I can retire,” or “I have to do this front line sales before I can get the bigger accounts?”

What if instead of “have” they said, “get.” “I get to work two more years” sounds like a privilege, not something to be dreaded. “I get to do front line sales” sounds like a good thing which then leads to a better thing, not a bad thing that must be endured.

When we learn to tell our stories, it is important to consider the frame in which you are presenting them and consider if it is sending the correct impression.

When you constructively reframe your works and actions, it forces you to look at them in another way. Sometimes it is not as much turning the bad to good as showing them in the light of clarity.

Kari Fulmek is the author of “Two Weeks to Empowerment: How to take charge of your life and find your true purpose” and the founder and owner of Equine Connection - The Academy of Equine Assisted Learning Inc. She is a Certified Master EAL Instructor and a Certified EAL Facilitator. From her base near Calgary, AB in the foothills of Canada’s Rocky Mountains, she travels the globe to empower clients. To learn more about Kari, visit her website at:


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